Mr Chuckles: Chuckle 5340

Chuckle 5340

Floppy received in Aug 2001.

~New Boots~ ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Aunty Acid and Sign )

An elderly couple are vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into their room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Bessie?"

Bessie looks him over, "Nope."

Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?" Bessie looks again, "Nope." Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT?" Bessie looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow." Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!" To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam. Shoulda bought a hat..."

****************************************** Just think about it, you'll get it.

.--- Jerry-----

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~Frog. ~ Some People Just Don't Know When To Quit

A guy goes to see the doctor because he's been a little too well endowed, shall we say. In fact, it's 25 inches long. Can't get any women to have sex with him. Anyway, the doctor says there's nothing he can do medically, but sends him to see a Witch that he thinks might be able to help. The Witch takes a look at the problem (yikes!) and tells him to go to a particular pond, deep in the forest, and talk to a frog that lives there. "Ask the frog to marry you and each time the frog says no, you'll be 5 inches shorter." Worth a try, he thinks, and off he dashes into the forest. He finds the pond and sees the frog on the other side, sitting on a log. "Will you marry me?" he calls to the frog. The frog looks at him, disinterested at best, and calls back, "No!" The guy looks down, sure enough, he's 5 inches shorter. Hey this is great, he thinks- let's try that again. "Will you marry me?" he asks the frog. The frog rolls his eyes, and shouts back again, "No!" Twitch-the guy's down to 15 inches. Well that's still a bit excessive, he thinks. Down another 5 would be perfect. So he calls across again, "Will you marry me?"

The frog yells back, "Look -how many times do I have to tell you?" No! No! No!"

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