Chuckle 5341

Chuckle 5341

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR)

~Now That I'm Older~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Aunty Acid and 6 Diff’s )

1. My goal for 2020 was to lose 10 pounds. Only have 14 to go.

2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big

round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese. FINE, it was a pizza..

OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?

3. How to prepare Tofu:

a. Throw it in the trash.

b. Grill some meat, chicken or fish.

4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

5. I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3

hours and 20 minutes.

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live

longer than men who mention it.

7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to

walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or

talented. I forgot where I was going with this.

11. I love being 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other

things.

12. A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

13. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

14. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

Pass this along to your fellow seniors, and to your young ones as well.I will let you decide which group you belong to.

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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6 Diff’s