Chuckle 4222

Chuckle 4222

(This was sent to me in Feb 2002 from Rick R of Surrey BC)

~Wise Indian ~ ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

The old Cherokee chief sat in his reservation hut smoking the ceremonial  pipe and eyeing the two US government officials sent to interview  him.

"Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white man for many generations, you have seen his wars and his products, you have seen all his progress and all his problems."

The chief nodded.

The official continued, “Considering recent events, in your opinion where has the white man gone wrong?"

The chief stared at the government officials for  over a minute, and then calmly replied:

"When white man found this land Indians were running it.  No taxes. No debt.  Plenty buffalo.  Plenty beaver.  Women did most of the work.

Medicine man free.  Indian men hunted and fished all the time."

The chief smiled and added quietly, "White man dumb enough to  think he could improve system like that."

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/

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Maxine

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Herman

Chuckle 4221

Chuckle 4221 

Chuckle thank to Rick R of surrey BC taken from a floppy Disc. (Sent to me in May 2002)

~ How well does cold water clean? ~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of the state he lived in. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film like substance on his plate and he questioned, .Grandfather ...are these plates clean? His grandfather replied.... those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal. Later on that after noon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate,  and a substance that looked like dried egg yokes....so he asked again.. Grandfather, are you sure these plates are clean? Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says...... I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore! Still later on that afternoon, he decided to get dinner in a nearby town. As he was leaving, his Grandfather's dog started to growl and would not let him pass.... Grandfather, your dog won't let me out. Without diverting his attention from the baseball game his Grandfather was watching, he shouted........ COLDWATER, GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THE WAY!

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/

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 Maxine

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 Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4220

(Another floppy chuckle, this time from Dean O now deceased. Sent in May 2002)

~ Sisters~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to save the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.

The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable".

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. She'll read it slow."

("com-for-da-bul").

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/

_________________________________________________________

Maxine

______________________________________________________________

 Herman

Chuckle 4219

Chuckle 4219

(Chuckles from the Floppies -- Feb 2002)

~A Blonde~ ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

A  blonde woman named Susan finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray, "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto." Lotto night comes and she does not win. Susan again prays, "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and now I'm going to lose my car." Lotto night comes again and Susan still has no luck. Once again, she prays, "Dear Lord, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order." Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Susan is confronted by the voice of God himself. "Susan, work with me on this one. At least buy a frickin' ticket, already!"

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/

_______________________________________________________________

Maxine

Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s