Chuckle 4746 A

 Sorry no new chuckles until next Tuesday

Chuckle 4746

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR)

~Why we love children. ~

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

The minister started his Children's Sermon with a question, "Who knows what a Resurrection is?" Without missing a beat a young boy says, "If you have one lasting more than 4 hours call your physician." The pastor is still laughing.

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

Maxine

Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

chuckle 4745A

Chuckle 4745

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR)

~Some Goodies~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

 

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

Maxine

Herman

Chuckle 4744

Chuckle 4744 Classic

Chuckle 280 (Sent out in Mar 2004)

(Nadine in Carpinteria CA gets today’s chuckle thanks!)

~The Lighter Side of Aging: ~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman:

"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.

She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
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Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came  up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was  your husband?"

"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."

"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it?"
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I've sure gotten old. I've had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes.

 I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a  jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.

 Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.

But..... Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!
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A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office  and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered"

 "Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you  think your sex drive is all in your head?"

"You're damned right it is!" replied the old man.  "That's why I want it lowered!"
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God, grant me the senility
to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
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An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to  prepare her will and make her final requests.
 She told her rabbi she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she  wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.

"Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why  Bloomingdales?"

"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

Maxine

Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s