Chuckle 4431

Chuckle 4431

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Ron J of Florence OR)

~Pills for the Bull~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.

Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine ! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him .. but they kind of taste like peppermint.

___________________________________________________________

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

________________________________________________________

 Maxine

__________________________________________________

Herman

Chuckle 4430

 Chuckle 4430

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Bev L of Mt. Vernon WA)

~Carnation Milk Slogan Contest~ (Second time around.) (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

65 Years Ago a little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.

 When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan.

 The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with 'Carnation Milk is best of all.'

She thought to herself, I know everything there is to know about milk and dairy farms. I can do this! She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black car pulled up in front of her house.

  A large man got out, knocked on her door and said,

"Ma’am ...The president of Carnation milk absolutely
LOVED your entry.....

So much, in fact, that we are here to award you $1,000 even though we will not be able to use it for our advertisements!"

 He did, however, have one printed up to hang on his office wall.

(see add below for her slogan)

True Story  

> 

> 

> 

_________________________________________________________

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_________________________________________________

Maxine

________________________________________________________

Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4429 Classic

Chuckle 4429 Classic

Chuckle 488 (Sent out in Aug of 2004)

(Rich C of Yume AZ gets today's chuckle thanks!)

Note; Hope this is not to naughty nor political for some of you!

~Lexus Radio~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

  A woman bought a new Lexus LS400, and returned the next day, complaining that she couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. 

"Watch this!" he said..."Nelson!" 

The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?" 

"Willie!" he continued....and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers. 

The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she'd say, "Beethoven", she'd get beautiful classical music, and if she said, "Beatles!" she'd get one of their awesome songs. 

One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed her new car, but she swerved in time to avoid them. 

"ASSHOLES!" she yelled...... 

The French National Anthem began to play, sung by the Dixie Chicks, Jane Fonda and Michael 

_____________________________________________________

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_________________________________________________________

Maxine

_____________________________________________________

Herman

____________________________________________________

Chuckle 4428

Chuckle 4428

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Gary B of La Habra CA

~Nun in a Bar~ (Second time around.) (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once
in a while 'the lights would turn off.'
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She
walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a
statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'
'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped
just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did
they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'
'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender,

'Would you
like a drink?

'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.

'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig
leaf on that statue, the lights go out.

Now, how about that drink?"

____________________________________________________

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

__________________________________________________________

Maxine

____________________________________________________

Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s