Chuckle 5183 Classic

Chuckle 5183 Classic

Chuckle 133 (Sent out in Oct 2003)

(Thanks go to Sandy Jackson of Florence OR. For this chuckle.)

~Milk Bath:~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Aunty Acid and  6 Diff’s)

   A blond heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons instead?"

  The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I am going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

The milkman said, "Do you want it Pasteurized?"

 The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it in my eyes."

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/



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Aunty Acid

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Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 5182

Chuckle 5182

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Nancy in Sun City AZ)

~Stress Management Technique~ ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Aunty Acid and  6 Diff’s ) This is unbelievable and will make you smile. In case you are having a rough day, here's a stress management technique that has been recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile: 1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream. 2. Picture yourself with both your hands in the cool running water. 3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air. 4. No one knows your secret place. 5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the World. 6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. 7. The water is so clear you can make out the face of the Greens Voter you are holding underwater. See, it worked. You're smiling You feel better already. Have a great day!!  ______________________________________________________________ (Today in History Click) http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history (Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day) www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day (For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope) http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/ Aunty Acid

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Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 5181

 (Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Phyllis S of Pasadena CA)



~Smiles for Today~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Aunty Acid and Herman )

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/



Aunty Acid

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Herman

Chuckle 5180 Classic

Chuckle 5180 Classic

Chuckle 2518

(Jack S of Santa Cruz CA gets today's chuckle thanks.)






~Alaskan Retirement ~ (2nd time around) (Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope, Maxine, and 6 differences.)

Tom had been in business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month.  Otherwise it's total peace and quiet..

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there. 'Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road.. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00...'

'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks Thank you.'

As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.' 'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em'. Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.' 'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! ...I'll be there. Thanks again.' 'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,' 'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?' 'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.’



This email was cleaned by email Stripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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(Maxine from my own collection.)

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(Find the Six Differences, Answers below.)

Chuckle 5179

Chuckle 5179 Classic

Chuckle 4143
(Email sent in Aug 2004)

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Pat M of Florence OR)

~Hello there Nice Person~ ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the
passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc.

Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain,
Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination."

Ed, sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right?
Is the captain a woman?"

When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said, "Did I
understand you right?  Is the captain a woman?

"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female." 

"My God," said Ed, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas.  I don't know what
to think of all those women up there in the cockpit." 

"That's another thing sir," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the cock pit."

"Now it's the box office."

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/8404539/

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Maxine

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Spot the 6 Diff's