Chuckle 4475

Chuckle 4475

Chuckle 431 (sent out in Aug 2004)

(Bev L of Florence OR gets today's chuckle thanks!)

Note; I know that some of you out there will be offended

by the beginning of this chuckle but get yourself together

finish it. This is one of those chuckles with a surprise ending.

So don’t peek!   ---Jerry ---

~I Lost Everything under Bush~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

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I am a senior citizen. During the Clinton Administration I had an extremely good and well paying job. I took numerous vacations and had several vacation homes. Since President Bush took office, I have watched my entire life change for the worse.

I lost my job.  I lost my two sons in that terrible Iraqi War.  I lost my home.  I lost my health insurance. 

As a matter of fact, I lost virtually everything and became homeless Adding insult to injury, when the authorities found me living like an animal, instead of helping me, they arrested me. 

I will do anything to insure President Bush's defeat in the next election. I will do anything that Senator Kerry wants to insure that a Democrat is back in the White House come next year.  

Bush has to go. 

I just thought you and your listeners would like to know how one senior citizen views the Bush Administration. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. 

Sincerely, 

Saddam Hussein

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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Maxine

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 Herman

Chuckle 4474

Chuckle 4474

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR)

~Dating Adds Part 2~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

BEATLES OR STONES I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

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MEMORIES I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

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My favorite

MINT CONDITION Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

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AND FINALLY

A lady in the Villages in Florida (a senior retirement community), was sitting on a bench, near another bench with a gentleman sitting on the bench. She asked him if he was new to the community and he said "no, I have owned a condo here for 20 years". She then said "I have been here for 15 years and I have never seen you around!". He then said "I have been in prison for the last 17 years!". She was stunned and finally asked him what he had done. He said that he had murdered his first wife! She was stunned again and after a long pause she said.

So you're SINGLE???

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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Maxine

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 Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4473

Chuckle 4473

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR)

Dating Ads for Seniors, found in A Florida Newspaper .

~'The Villages' Dating Ads:~Pt 1 ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north.

These are actual ads seen in ''The Villages'' Florida newspaper.

Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor

FOXY LADY

Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,

80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), Searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

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LONG-TERM COMMITMENT Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath, not a problem.

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SERENITY NOW I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga, and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

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WINNING SMILE Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_______________________________________________________________

Maxine

 Herman

Chuckle 4472

Chuckle 4472

(From Elva B in Caldwell ID, thanks for sending this.)

~Church Bulletins~ Part 2 (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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And this one just about sums them all up

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

Maxine

Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s