Chuckle 4449 Classic

Chuckle 4449 Classic

Chuckle 614 (Sent out in Feb 2005

(George H in Florence OR who out did himself on this one gets to days chuckle thanks!)

~Norwegian Snorers~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

  Four guys from Lake Aasgaard went up to Northern Minnesota fishing. To save a little money, they rented a small cabin that had only two bedrooms. Well, Arne sleeps with Ole the first night and he comes to breakfast next morning with his hair a mess, and his eyes all bloodshot. They say, "Vat happen to you?" Arne says, "That Ole, he snores so loud, I was kept avake  vatching him all night. I can't do that 'nother night so vun of you's got to do it" Since Ole snores so loudly, no one else wanted to room with him, but they finally agree to take turns. The next night is Oscar's turn. In the morning, same thing - hair all standing up, eyes all blood shot. Oscar declares, "Fer sure, dat Ole shakes the roof. And he sleeps so hard, I couldn't vake him. I vatched him all night." The third night was Sven's turn. Next morning Sven came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. “They can't believe it! They say, "Vat happened?" Sven say, "Well, ve get ready for bed. I go und tuck Ole into bed and kiss him good night. Den he vatches me all night!"

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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 Maxine

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 Herman

Chuckle 4448 Classic

Chuckle 4448 Classic

Chuckle 504 (Sent out in Nov. 2004)

(Today we have two chuckles sent to us by Rick in Surrey BC.

Thanks Rick!)

~Cheese Farm~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

A group of Americans was traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through a process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used. She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing.

These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do in America with your older goats?"

A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours, or make us go play Bingo."

~Enunciate Carefully~

An elderly couple had been dating for some time. Finally they decided it was time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical   relationship.

"How do you feel about sex?"  he asked, rather trustingly.

"Well," she says, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say I would like it infrequently."

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment. Then looking over his glasses, looked her in the eye casually and asked . . . "Was that one or two words?"

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

 

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 Maxine

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 Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4447

Chuckle 4447

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Bev L of Mt Vernon WA)

~Bristol Zoo Retirement Plan~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

From The London Times

Outside England 's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant.... The fees for cars ($1.40), for buses (about $7)

Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn't show up; so the zoo management called the city council and asked it to send them another parking agent. The council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the zoo's own responsibility. The zoo advised the council that the attendant was a city employee.

The city council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the city payroll. Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain , or France , or Italy , is a man who'd apparently had a ticket booth installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day -- for 25 years.

Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars..... And no one even knows his name.

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 (Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

___________________________________________________________

 Maxine

 ______________________________________________________

Herman

Chuckle 4446

Chuckle 4446

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR)

~The Lion Tamer – Tryouts~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

  A circus owner runs an ad for 'lion tamer wanted' and two people showed up. One is a retired golfer in his late-sixties and the other is a drop-dead, gorgeous brunette with a killer body in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- a chair, a whip and a gun.

Who wants to try out first?" The gorgeous brunette says, "I'll go first. “She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her.

As he gets close, the gorgeous brunette throws open her coat revealing her beautiful, perfect naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles.He continues to lick and kiss every inch of her body for several minutes, then lays down and rests his head at her feet. The circus owner's jaw is on the floor! He says, "That's amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life! “He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"

The old golfer replies, Possibly ... but you've got to get that lion out of there first.

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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 Maxine

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Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s