Chuckle 4580 Floppy

Chuckle 4580 Floppy

(This chuckle was received in July 2001)

~CHARM SCHOOL~

Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood, one from Georgia, the
other an Alabamian, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white
pillared mansion.

The Georgia peach said, "When my first child was born, my husband
built this beautiful mansion for me."

The lady from Alabama commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"

The first woman continued "When my second child was born, my husband
bought me that fine Cadillac you see parked in the drive."

Again, belle from Alabama commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman boasted, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."

Yet again, the second lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice?"

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy
for you when you had your first child?"

"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Bama belle.

"Charm school!" the first woman cried, "Land sakes, child, what on Earth for?"

The Alabamian responded, "So that I could learn to say, 'Isn't that
nice' instead of 'Who gives a shit.'"

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

____________________________________________________

Maxine

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Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4579

Chuckle 4579

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Elva B of Caldwell ID)

~Get Out of The Car! ~ (Second time around.) (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car - NOW!"

The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why.

It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two

12-packs of beer in the front seat.

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into he own car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

The Sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a carjacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

Moral of the story? If you're going to have a senior moment... make it memorable!

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

____________________________________________________

Maxine

_____________________________________________________

 Herman

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Chuckle 4578 Classic

Chuckle 4578 Classic

Received from Rick R of Surrey BC in Oct 2004, Thanks Rick.

~Newfie Millionaire Show~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

Mike appeared on the Newfie version of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and towards the end of the program had already won $500,000. "You've done very well so far", said the show's host, "but for 1 million you've only got one lifeline left - phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question... will you go for it?

 "Sure", said Mike. I'll have a go!

"O.K. The question is which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? (a) Robin (b) Sparrow (c) Cuckoo, or (d) Thrush"

"I haven't a clue," "so I'll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Come-Bye-Chance"

Mike called up his mate, told him the circumstance and repeated the question to him.

"Bloody hell, Mick! cried Paddy . "Dat's simple - it's a Cuckoo". Are you sure , Paddy? asked Mike.

"I'm bloody sure". Mick hung up the phone and told the TV host , I'll go with cuckoo as my answer".

"Is that you final answer? asked the host.

"Dat it is, Sir".

There was a long, long pause, then the host screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mike, you've won 1 million!"

The next night, Mike invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a  drink. Tell me, Paddy, how in God's name did you know it was the cuckoo that doesn't build it's own nest?

I mean, how do you know bleedin'-all about birds?"

 For fools sake! laughed Paddy. "Everybody knows a bloody cuckoo lives in a clock!!!!

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_____________________________________________________

Maxine

___________________________________________________

Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4577

Chuckle 4577

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Phyllis S of Pasadena CA)

~Saskatchewan Humor~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

 You don't have to be from Saskatchewan to understand and enjoy this.

This actually happened.

They dressed the truck up with the guy tied down on the roof.

The driver and passengers put on Moose heads.

Then they went down the

Yellowhead Highway, causing 16 accidents.

Yes, they went to jail... Yes, alcohol was involved.

This proves that men cannot be left alone!

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_________________________________________________

Maxine

_____________________________________________________

 Herman