Chuckle 4769

Chuckle 4769

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Bill P of Florence OR)

 ~It’s All in the Translation~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church, by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the Old Abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives, in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the Old Abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

"We missed the R ! We missed the R !

We missed the bloody R !"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.

The young monk asks the old Abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old Abbot replies,

"The word was ...

CELEBRATE!"

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_____________________________________________________

Maxine

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6 Diff’s

Chuckle 4768

Chuckle 4768

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Nancy S in Sun City AZ)

~Phyllis Dillerisms~ ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. -Phyllis Diller

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? -Phyllis Diller

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing. -Phyllis Diller

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. -Phyllis Diller Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. -Phyllis Diller

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. -Phyllis Diller

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. -Phyllis Diller

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. -Phyllis Diller

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed. -Phyllis Diller

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up. -Phyllis Diller

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room. -Phyllis Diller

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. -Phyllis Diller

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. -Phyllis Diller

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half. -Phyllis Diller

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. -Phyllis Diller

My photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me. -Phyllis Diller

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. -Phyllis Diller

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children. -Phyllis Diller

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.' -Phyllis Diller

The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. -Phyllis Diller

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type. -Phyllis Diller

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_____________________________________________________

Maxine

 ____________________________________________

 Herman

 

Chuckle 4767

Chuckle 4767

Another Chuckle from Keith K of Florence OR, thanks!

~Have a Drink~ ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

Two guys in their mid-twenties are sitting at a bar having a beer. One

of the guys says to his buddy, “Man, you really look tired.” His buddy says,

“Dude, I'm exhausted.  My girlfriend wants sex all the time, three, four, even

six times a night, every night.  She wakes me up at all hours.  I just don't know what to do.”

A fellow about 65, sitting a couple of stools down overheard the conversation.

He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years says...

“Marry her.  That'll put a stop to that nonsense.”

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

___________________________________________________

Maxine

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Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4766

Chuckle 4766

(Keith K of Florence OR gets todays Chuckle thanks)

~WALMART'S BRANDING~ ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

Walmart announced that sometime in 3rd Q 2018 it will begin offering customers a new  discount item; Walmart's own brand of wine.

The world's largest retail chain is rumored to be teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price in the $2 to $5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of the Walmart brand into their  shopping carts, but 'There is a market for inexpensive wine,' said Kathy Micken, professor  of marketing at University of Arkansas, Bentonville, 'However, branding will be very important.'

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Walmart  wine brands and varieties.

The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc

9. White Trashfindel

8. Big Red Gulp

7. World Championship Riesling

6. NASCARbernet

5. Chef Boyardeaux

4. Peanut Noir

3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar

2. Grape Expectations

1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Walmart wine is that it can be served with either white meat or red meat (eg. possum or squirrel).

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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 Maxine Taken from Facebook

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 Herman