Mr Chuckles: December 2018

Chuckle 4927 Classic

Chuckle 4927 Classic

Chuckle 49 (Sent out in May 2003)

(Thanks to Nadine of Carpinteria, CA)

~Five Bulls:~( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

Have you heard about the five young bulls, discussing what

they wanted to be when they grew up?

The first wanted to go to Rome and become a papal bull.

The second wanted to go to New York and become a bull on
Wall Street.

The third wanted to go to the Windy City to become a Chicago Bull.

The fourth said he wanted to go to Beijing and be a bull in a China shop.

The fifth said he was just going to stay in the pasture for heifer and heifer and heifer.

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(Today in History Click)

http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

___________________________________________________

Maxine

__________________________________________________________

Herman

Chuckle 4926 Classic

Chuckle 4926 Classic

Chuckle 245

(Nadine W. in Carpinteria, CA gets today’s Chuckle Thanks!)

~Potholes:~ ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman

After hardy West Virginia rainstorm filled all the potholes inthe streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little

boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a five-year-old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole. As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic.

"Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!" she says as she shook the older boy in anger.

"We were just playing 'church' mommy" he said. "I was baptizing him in the name of the Father, the Son and in the hole-he-goes.

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_____________________________________________________

Maxine

______________________________________________________

Herman

Chuckle 4925 Classic

Chuckle 419 ( Sent out in Aug 2004)

(Jayne in Florence OR gets today’s chuckle thanks!)

~CHP~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

While on patrol, a California State Police Officer spotted a car with two penguins in the back. He pulled the car over and told the driver that he'd have to take the penguins to the local zoo.

A couple weeks later the officer passed the same car and again saw the penguins in the back seat. He pulled the car over and was shocked to discover that the penguins were wearing bathing suits and sunglasses.

He demanded to know why the penguins had not been taken to the zoo.

The driver replied, "I did take them to the zoo. Today we're going to the beach."

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_________________________________________________

Maxine

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Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4925

Chuckle 419 ( Sent out in Aug 2004)

(Jayne in Florence OR gets today’s chuckle thanks!)

~CHP~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

While on patrol, a California State Police Officer spotted a car with two penguins in the back. He pulled the car over and told the driver that he'd have to take the penguins to the local zoo.

A couple weeks later the officer passed the same car and again saw the penguins in the back seat. He pulled the car over and was shocked to discover that the penguins were wearing bathing suits and sunglasses.

He demanded to know why the penguins had not been taken to the zoo.

The driver replied, "I did take them to the zoo. Today we're going to the beach."

__________________________________________________

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

___________________________________________________

Maxine

_______________________________________________

Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4924

Chuckle 4924

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Nancy in Sun City AZ)

~Living Will Form~( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and H

This is the best Living Will that I have seen. We should use it in our occupant-owned Physicians' Nursing Home, which will feature mandatory Cocktail Hour but optional medications...

LIVING WILL FORM...

I, ____________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

If A reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______Vodka Rocks ______a Margarita ____ a Scotch ______ Glass of wine_______

a Bloody Mary ______a Gin and Tonic _______a Tee Time ______a Steak _____ Beer ______Lobster or crab legs ______the remote control ______

a bowl of ice cream ______the sports page______Sex ______or Chocolate, it should be presumed that I won't ever get any better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature:____________________ ______ Date: _______

NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub.

The patients are happier, and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes

_______________________________________

_

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscop

__________________________________________________

Maxine