Chuckle 4644

Chuckle 4644

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR)

~Secrets to Inner Peace.~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman

 If you can start the day without caffeine,

 If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

 If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

 If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

 If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

 If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

 If you can conquer tension without medical help,

 If you can relax without alcohol,

 If you can sleep without the aid of drug

                                                    Then You Are Probably

                                                   The Family Dog!

And you thought I was going to get all spiritual ....

Handle every Stressful situation like a dog.

  
If you can't eat it or play with it,
  
Piss on it and walk away

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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 Maxine

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Herman

Chuckle 4643 Classic

Sorry I’m late today , my Computer was out for repairs.

Chuckle 4643 Classic

(Chuckle 2793) Sent out in Nov 2011)

(Rich C of Yuma AZ gets today's Chuckle thanks.)

~Buried Copper Wire~ (Second time around)

(Also: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope, Maxine, and Men Can Fix Anything)

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: "California archaeologists, report finding of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers."

One week later. A local newspaper in Minnesota reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Askov, Minnesota, Ole Swenson, a self-taught archaeologist reported that he found absolutely nothing. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Minnesota had already gone wireless".

Just makes a person proud to be from Minnesota.

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(Click Today in History and learn.)

Today in History  from Yahoo

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(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)

(Word for the Day)

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(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)

Today's Horoscope )

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 (Maxine from my own Thanksgiving collection.)

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(Men Can Fix Anything) from Linda M of Florence)

Chuckle 4642

Chuckle 4642 Classic

Chuckle 651 (Sent out in April 2005)

(Mary in Los Osos gets double thanks for today’s chuckles!)

~Mood Ring~ ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns a beautiful blue-green.

When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

~Old Harold~

Old Harold's In the Hospital Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital. There was one young nurse that just drove him crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child.  She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "And how are we doing this morning, or are we ready for a bath, or are we hungry? "

Old Harold had had enough of this particular nurse.  One day, Old Harold had breakfast, pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his bed side stand.  He had been given a urine bottle to fill for testing. The juice was apple juice.  So.....The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine bottle and looked at it.  "My, but it seems we are a little cloudy today " At this, Old Harold snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again.  Maybe I can filter it better this time."

The nurse fainted!

Old Harold just smiled!

Don't mess with old people!

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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Maxine

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 Herman

Chuckle 4641

Chuckle 4641

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR)

In life, one should always maintain a positive outlook!

 ~A Missing Wife:~(Second time around.) (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Twillingate, Newfoundland man answered his door to find two grim-faced RCMP officers.

"We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your wife," said one of the officers.

"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Cedric Flynn asked.

The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, Mr. Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first." The RCMP officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."

"Lord sufferin' Jesus!" exclaimed Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the good news?"

The officer continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her.

Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

Stunned, Mr. Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"

The officer replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow." :)

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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Maxine 

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 Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’