Chuckle 4695 Classic

Chuckle 4695 Classic

Chuckle 156 Sent out in Nov 2003

(Another male basher from Phyllis of Pasadena CA Thanks Phyl!)

Note: Between Carrie, Irene and Phyllis we men are taking a bad bashing. Come on guys I need help here! ---Jerry---

Antler Drop Time:  (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
   
Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen- had to be a girl.  We should've known. Only women, while pregnant, would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_______________________________________________

Maxine

______________________________________________________

 Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4694 Classic

Chuckle 4694 Classic

Chuckle 550 (Sent out in Dec 2004)

(George H in Florence OR gets today's chuckle thanks!)

~Colonoscopy Remarks~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

  A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopy:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in; you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

And the best one of them all...

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horosc

_______________________________________________________

Maxine

 ________________________________________________

Herman

Chuckle 4693

 Chuckle 4693

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR)

Begin forwarded message:

COME ON NOW, THIS IS TAKING INSTRUCTIONS IN A VERY LITERAL SENSE…..

 

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

___________________________________________________________

Maxine

___________________________________________________

Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4692

Chuckle 4692

Chuckle 258 Sent out in March 2004

(Thanks go to Bev L. in Florence, OR for today’s

Canadian chuckle!)

~Canadian Temperature Guide:~ ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

50° Fahrenheit (10° C)

Californians shiver uncontrollably,

Canadians plant gardens.

35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)

Italian cars won't start,

 Canadians drive with the windows down.

 32° Fahrenheit (0° C)

 American water freezes,

 Canadian water gets thicker.

 0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)

 New York City landlords finally turn on the heat,

 Canadians have the last barbecue of the season.

 -60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)

 Mt. St. Helens freezes,

 Canadians Girl Guides sell cookies door to door.

 -100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole,

Ottawa canal opens for skating.

 -173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)

 Ethyl alcohol freezes,

 Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

 -460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)

 Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops,

 Canadians start saying "cold eh?"

 -500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)

 Hell freezes over,

 Leafs win Stanley Cup.

___________________________________________________

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

 ______________________________________________

Maxine

___________________________________________________

Herman