Chuckle 4876

Chuckle 4876

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Ron J of Florence OR)

~Classic Lone Ranger~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by a hostile Indian War Party.

 The Indian Chief proclaimed, "So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger"...  

 "In honor of the Buffalo Hunt, you will be sacrificed in three days."  

 "Before we kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?' 

 The Lone Ranger said, "I'd like to speak to my horse."  

 The Chief nodded and Silver was brought before the Lone Ranger who whispered in  Silver’s ear, and the horse galloped away. 

 Later that evening, Silver returned with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.  

 As the Indian Chief watched, the blonde entered the Lone Ranger's tent and spent the night. 

The next morning the Indian Chief admitted that he was impressed. 

 "You have a very fine and loyal horse, but we will still kill you in two days. What is your SECOND request?" 

  The Lone Ranger again asked to speak to his horse. Silver came to him, and he again whispered in the horse's ear. 

  As before, Silver took off and disappeared over the horizon. 

 Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returned, this time with a voluptuous brunette, even more attractive than the blonde.  

 She entered the Lone Ranger's tent and spent the night.  

 The following morning the Indian Chief said:  "You are indeed a man of many talents, but we will still kill you tomorrow."  

 "What is your LAST request?" 

 The Lone Ranger responded, "I'd like to speak to my horse - alone." 

 The Chief was curious, but he agreed, and Silver was brought to the Lone Ranger's te

 Once they were alone, The Lone Ranger grabbed Silver by both ears, looked him square in the eye and said,  

 Listen Very Carefully!  FOR...THE...LAST...TIME...

 "BRING POSSE!"

(Today in History Click) http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history (Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day) www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day (For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope) http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/ _______________________________________________________________________ Maxine

 

 
  ______________________________________________________

Herman

 

Chuckle 4875

Chuckle 4875

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR)

~IRISH MATING CALL~ ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.   'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.   The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about. 'Was the other Indian crazy or what?' The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening.. If they get an answer back, it means there's a squaw in there waiting for us. Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Immediately, there was the answer. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside.   He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening. The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!' He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!' With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he ran. The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read................   You'll like this NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!

  

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_______________________________________________

Maxine

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Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4874 Classic

Chuckle 4874 Classic

Chuckle 585 Sent out in Jan 2005

(Sandy J of Florence OR gets today’s chuckle thanks!)

~ A Southern Baptist ~ (Second time around.) ( Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

A Southern Baptist minister was completing a temperance sermon.

With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, 

I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said,

"And if I had all the wine in the world,

I'd take it and pour it into the river." 

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, 

"And if I had all the whiskey in the world, 

I'd take it and pour it into the river." 

Sermon complete, he sat down. 

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, 

"Shall We Gather at the River" 

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

Maxine

 Herman