Chuckle 4327

Chuckle 4327

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Bev L of Mt Vernon WA)

~Ramblings of a Retired OLD Mind~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "what brings you in today?".

I looked at her, and said, I'm interested in buying a refrigerator. She didn't quite know how to respond. Am I getting to be that age?

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I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.  I can't afford one.  So I'm wearing my garage door opener.

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You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

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I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

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 I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it 'Pumping Rust'.

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

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Maxine

___________________________________________________________

 Herman

Chuckle 4326

Chuckle 4326

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Bev L of Mt. Vernon WA)

~An Italian Mama~(Second time around.) (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

 Mrs. Castranova comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. 

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how lovely Anthony's roommate is.

Throughout the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.

 Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''

 About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, 

"Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

 "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."

 So he sat down and wrote an email:

Dear Mama,

 I'm not saying that you “did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you “did not" take it. 

But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Your Loving Son, Anthony

 A few days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:

 Dear son,

 I'm not saying that you “do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Your Loving Mama

Moral:  Never Bulla Shita you Mama!

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 (Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

___________________________________________________

Maxine

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Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4325

Chuckle 4325

Chuckle 66 (Sent out in Aug 2003)

(Thanks again to John and Jayne of Florence for this chuckle.)

~Bless me Father~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman_

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose
woman."

  The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"

  "Yes, Father, it is."

  

   "And who was the woman you were with?"

   "Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to
ruin her reputation."

   "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you
may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

   "I cannot say."

   "Was it Patricia Kelly?"

   "I'll never tell."

   "Was it Liz Shannon?"

   "I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."

   "Was it Cathy Morgan?"

   "My lips are sealed."
  

   "Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"

   "Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

   The priest sighs in frustration "You're a steadfast lad,
Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that! But you've sinned, and you
must atone. You cannot attend church for three months.. Be off
with you now."

   Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and
whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Three months’ vacation and five good leads," says Tommy

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(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

 __________________________________________________

Maxine

______________________________________________________

 Herman

Chuckle 4324

Chuckle 4324

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR)

~Had It All! ~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

 I talked to a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.

He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library. I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage."

I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?"

"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no.... I was paroled."

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_______________________________________________________

Maxine

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Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s