Chuckle 4405

Chuckle 4405

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Ron J of Florence OR)

~Computer Prob. Part 2~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

Customer:           I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:     Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:           Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech  support:   Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:          Five dots.
 *************************  
Tech  support:  What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:         Netscape.
Tech support:   That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:         Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
 *************************  
Customer:    I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
 *************************  
Tech support:    How may I help you?
Customer:          I'm writing my first email.
Tech support:   OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:         Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
 *************************   
This one and the next    are our personal favorites!  
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support:  Are you running it under windows?
Customer:  'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
 ************************  
And last but   not least!  
Tech  support:   'Okay Bob, let's  press the control and escape keys at the same time.
That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.  Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer:         I don't have a P.
Tech  support:  On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:         What do you mean?
Tech support:  'P'.....on your  keyboard, Bob.
Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT 

Final! That’s all folks

____________________________________________

(Today in History Click)
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

___________________________________________________

Maxine

_____________________________________________________

Herman

Chuckle 4404

Chuckle 4404

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Bev L of Florence OR)

~America's Health Insurance as seen by doctors.~ (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 diff’s)

The medical community is unable to reach consensus on what to do with America's health insurance situation.

 The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.

The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

________________________________________________________

(Today in History Click)

http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

_______________________________________________________

Maxine 

________________________________________________

 Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s

Chuckle 4493

Chuckle 4493

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Ron J of Florence OR)

~Computer Problems~Pt.1 (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and Herman)

Tech support:   What kind of computer do you have?
Customer:         A white one...
Tech support:   Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer:         Your left or my left?
************************  
Customer:   Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha. I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'can’t find printer’.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it..
 *************************   
 
 Customer:        My keyboard  is not working anymore.
Tech support:   Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:         No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support:   Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:          OK
Tech support:   Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:          Yes
Tech support:  That means the keyboard  is not plugged in.
 *************************  
More Later~~~

_____________________________________________________

Maxine

_______________________________________________________

Herman

Chuckle 4402

Chuckle 4402

(Today’s Chuckle thanks go to Keith K of Florence OR.

~Old couple~(Second time around.) (Plus: Today in history, Word for the day, Today’s horoscope, Maxine and 6 Diff’s)

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 

  'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? 

  We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. 

I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. 

  So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.. 

  Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence..

  The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. 

  As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. 

  Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen.

This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.

  Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggles to their feet and puts their clothes back on. 

  The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 

  'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. 

  Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 

'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence’

___________________________________________________

 (Today in History Click)

http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
http://www.prokerala.com/astrology/horoscope/

____________________________________________________

 Maxine

  

___________________________________________________

Eye exercise time; Spot the 6 diff’s