Chuckle 1742

Chuckle 1742
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Phyllis S of Pasadena CA!)

1938 Jefferson nickel

~Three Nickels~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and Today’s Horoscope.)

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face.

The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, 'I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?

'No,' the woman replied. 'Divorce attorney'. ***


This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
________________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

(Do you remember the movie actor below?
Scroll down to get the answer.)

>


>


>



Alan Ladd (1913–1964),

________________________________________________________

Chuckle 1741

Chuckle 1741
(Cathy B of Florence OR gets today’s chuckle thanks!)


~A Blonde's Year in Review~ (2nd time around)

(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope and
Six Differences.)

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels......Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer!

March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said '2-4 years!'

April - Trapped on escalator for hours? Power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm....car swamped because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is 'C'....isn't it?

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound - I weigh 108!!

December - Couldn't call 911.... 'Duh'....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone! ***


This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
_______________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Note: Tomorrow starts ‘Guess the Male Stars.’

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~


Esther Williams is now 83

___________________________________________________________________

(Find the 6 differences, answers below.)

Chuckle 1740

Chuckle 1740
(Goldie C of Florence OR gets today’s chuckle thanks!)


~The Blue Pigeon~ (2nd time around)
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and Today’s Horoscope.)

The mayor of Phoenix was very worried about a plague of pigeons in Phoenix. He could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of Phoenix was full of pigeon poop; the people of Phoenix could not walk on the sidewalks, or drive on the road. It was costing a fortune to keep the streets and sidewalks clean.

One day a man came to City Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition. 'I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without any cost to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay me one million dollars to ask one question.'

The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition.

The next day the man climbed to the top of City Hall, opened his coat, and released a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue Arizona sky. All the pigeons in Phoenix saw the blue pigeon and gathered up in the air behind the blue pigeon. The Phoenix pigeons followed the blue pigeon as she flew southward out of the city. The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man atop City Hall.

The Mayor was very impressed. He felt the man and the blue pigeon had performed a wonderful miraculous feat to rid Phoenix of the plague of pigeons. Even though the man with the pigeon had charged nothing, the mayor presented him with a check for 1 million dollars and told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid the city of pigeons, he decided to pay the 1 million just to get to ask ONE question.

The man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask his ONE question.

Do you think the Mayor is going to ask how the blue pigeon led all the pigeons away?

Do you think the Mayor is going to ask where all the pigeons went?

Do you think he is going to ask where the man got the blue pigeon? Nooooooo!

This will get a smile out of you!

The mayor asked 'Do you have a blue Mexican?' ***


This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
________________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~


Rachel Welch is now 67

___________________________________________________

Chuckle 1739

Chuckle 1739
(Charlene S of Florence OR gets today’s chuckle thanks!)


~Classified Ads~ (2nd time around)
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope and
Six Differences.)

These classifieds were really put in the paper - a smile for your day

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.. Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward. ;> COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK $300 hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES California grown - 89 cents/lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE... Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

And the best one:

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything. ***

This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
________________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~


Mamie Van Doren is now 75

________________________________________________________

(Find the 6 differences, answers below.)

Chuckle 1738

Chuckle 1738
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Phyllis H of Carpinteria CA!)

~Stay Away From Consultants~ (2nd time around)
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and Today’s Horoscope.)

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat.

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!” she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20 but with the Lab Report and the CAT scan, it's now $150.00". ***


This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm

________________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~

Shirley Temple is now 78
_________________________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

Chuckle 1737

Chuckle 1737
(George H of Florence OR gets today’s chuckle thanks!)


~Taking a Woman to Bed~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope and Six Differences.)

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78?

At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 -- You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!

At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you??? ***


This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm

______________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~



Jill St. John is now 66

_________________________________________________________________________ (Find the 6 differences, answers below.)

Chuckle 1736

Chuckle 1736
(Charley M of Bradenton FL gets today’s chuckle thanks!)


~Embarrassing Medical Exams~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and Today’s Horoscope.)

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient. Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a Wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
________________________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~


Gale Storm is now 84
____________________________________________________________

“Have a nice day!”

Chuckle 1735

Chuckle 1735
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Pam S of Roseville CA!)

~Kids Write About the Sea ~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope and
Six Differences.)

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean and have big teeth just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails. And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)

13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her fat ass. (Julie age 7)


This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
______________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~


Stella Stevens is now 69

___________________________________________________________________

(Find the 6 differences, answers below.)

Chuckle 1734

Chuckle 1734
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Willie F of Sacramento CA!)


~The Banana Test ~

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel, who pass by. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality... So think carefully.

Got your answer?

Now scroll down to see the analysis. If your answer is:

Lion = you're dull.

Chimpanzee = you're a moron.

Giraffe = you're a complete idiot.

Squirrel = you're just hopelessly stupid.

>

>

>

>

A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS!


Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax! ***


This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
________________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~


Kay Starr is now 84

________________________________________________________

Go git-um Tiger

Chuckle 1733

Chuckle 1733
(Joyce K of Florence AZ gets today’s chuckle thanks!)



~Price Of Gas Around The World~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope and
Six Differences.)

Prices are quoted in US dollars per gallon for regular unleaded.

Oslo , Norway $6.82

Hong Kong $6.25

Brussels, Belgium $6.16

London, UK $5.96

Rome, Italy $5.80

Tokyo, Japan $5.25

Sao Paulo, Brazil $4.42

New Delhi, India $3.71

Sidney, Australia $3.42

Johannesburg, South Africa $3.39

Mexico City $2.22

Buenos Aires, Argentina $2.09

... YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS ...

Riyadh , Saudi Arabia $0.91

Kuwait $0.78

Caracas, Venezuela $0.12

NOW, DOESN'T THAT JUST FROST YOUR PATOOTIE?!

This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
___________________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~


Elke Sommer is now 66
_________________________________________________________________________

(Find the 6 differences, answers below.)

Chuckle 1732

Chuckle 1732
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Rick R of Surrey BC!)


~Shopping~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and Today’s Horoscope.)

A husband and wife are shopping when the man picks up a case of beer and sticks in into the shopping cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife

'They're on sale, only $10.00 for 24 cans', he says

'Put them back. We can't afford it,' says the wife and they carry on shopping...

A few aisles later the woman picks up a $20.00 jar of face cream and sticks it into the cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the man,

'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' she says.

The man replies... 'SO DOES 24 CANS OF BEER AND IT'S HALF THE PRICE' ***

This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm

________________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~



Jean Simmons is now 77

___________________________________________________________________

Don't do anything stupid!

Chuckle 1731

Chuckle 1731
(Lora S of Florence OR gets today’s chuckle thanks!)


~Grannies on the Road~ (2nd time around)
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope and
Six Differences.)

Sitting on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, 'This driver is as dangerous as a speeder!' So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, 'Officer, I don't understand. I was going the exact speed limit. What seems to be the problem?'

The trooper, trying to contain a chuckle, explained to her that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

'But before you go, Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken.'

'Oh, they'll be alright in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 127.' ***


This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
______________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~


Jane Russell is now 85

__________________________________________________________________

(Find the 6 differences, answers below.)

Chuckle 1730

Chuckle 1730
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Retha A of Richland OR!)

~Overboard~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and Today’s Horoscope.)

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the ship. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean we hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . . . Please advise."

The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap." ***

This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm
________________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~


Debbie Reynolds is now 74
___________________________________________________________________

Have at it!

Chuckle 1729

Chuckle 1729
(Bev L of Florence OR gets today’s chuckle thanks!)


~Lips and Liquor~
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope and
Six Differences.)

If you were around in 1919 (just before prohibition started) and came upon the following poster.........

Would you quit drinking?
________________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~


Jane Powell is now 77
________________________________________________________

(Find the 6 differences, answers below.)

Chuckle 1728

Chuckle 1728
(Today's chuckle thanks go to Jo R of Florence OR!)


~A Short Love Story~ (2nd time around)
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day and Today’s Horoscope.)

A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-Continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly.....

He in the upper bunk and she in the lower, and at 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.

The End ***

This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm

________________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~


Patti Page is now 79

___________________________________________________________________

“Have a nice day!”

Chuckle 1727

Chuckle 1727
(Pat M of Florence OR gets today’s chuckle thanks!)


~The Burned-Out Gynecologist~ (2nd time around)
(Plus: Today in History, Word for the Day, Today’s Horoscope and
Six Differences.)

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and became an auto mechanic.

He found out from the local technical college what was involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had received a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there has been an error that needs adjusting?"

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly which is also worth 50% of the mark."

The instructor went on to say, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler." ***
__________________________________________________

(Click Today in History and learn.)
• Today in history
______________________________________________________

(Sharpen your vocabulary by clicking Word for the Day)
(Word for the Day)
________________________________________________________

(For today's Horoscope click Today's Horoscope)
Today's Horoscope )
________________________________________________________

Chuckle Gems.

Someone has worked very hard compiling this collection of
photos labeled;

~A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ALL THE GIRLS WE’VE LOVED BEFORE~


Debra Padget is now 73

________________________________________________________

(Find the 6 differences, answers below.)